just random thoughts...a few more things

i just can't shake this 'feeling'. when your parents die, life goes on. and everyone and the world goes on. as it should be. but i'm left with the feelings, the memories. the fragility of life. the strength of life. the wisp of death. it really is like "the twinkling of an eye". you're here one split second and then you're not....you're gone. in an instant, you're gone from this world.

for my children ....i just want to write this down for you. i want you to know that, without the smallest doubt, God is real. Jesus is real. He is who He says He is. He is God and there is no other! i want you to know that God does the most unbelieveable things for me. i am at a complete loss for words as to why.

here's the story that i want you to know ~ i was sitting by my mother's bed the morning that she died. her breathing had changed even more, her body, her eyes, everything about her was changing. but is was sweet and peaceful. i watched as she was being drawn away, as she was leaving this world. i saw her eyes moving under her lids. i watched the artery in her throat pulsating. she made a grimace and then another one. then she made three distinct 'sounds', like sighs except that i heard her voice in those sighs. it was surprising to me even at the moment. and that was it. she was gone.

it wasnt' until later when i sat beside her again and began writing in my journal that i suddenly realized what i had witnessed. the Bible tells us that God has 'called us by name' and that we will rise to meet Him when we die unless we're living when He returns and we will rise with Him. as i was writing about hearing her voice in those sighs, i instantly knew that God was calling her name and that she was answering Him!!! that God allowed me to witness this most sacred event is beyond my comprehension. i was sitting there, seemingly alone, when in actuality we were surrounded by angels and God Himself calling her name. i am as humbled as a human being can be.

i still feel fragile but i wanted you to know this.